In my last post I wrote that your Priestess self “is the practical expression of your feminine divinity in the world. Kind of like your personal, cosmic superheroine.” I thought I would highlight some of her qualities so you can recognize the part of you that is her.
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She seeks the truth that lives beyond the rules, conventions, and niceties of everyday life.
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She knows that purpose and passion are realities to unfold, not measures of relevance.
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Her heart beats in time to the eternal rhythm that threads lifetimes together.
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Her whispers and wisdom may not sync with your linear timetable, but listen and you will hear what is in the space between logic and time. Then make the linear sync with you and they will call it magic.
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She believes the energies of pleasure, beauty, and desire, are sacred and essential for you to do your good work.
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She is as compelled by the mysteries of living as by the grit required to live it.
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She has no use for convention for the sake of fitting in, doing for the sake of approval, accomplishing for the sake of belonging, or waiting for things to get better before you start.
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She is your ultimate truth teller, peace finder, world changer.
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If you want to awaken more of your Priestess self, consider my offereing Culitvating the Priestess. It is a coaching journey that will give you the energetic and practical tools to claim your authority, create your sovereign life, and give the world your unique gifts.
What does it really mean- “have my life together?”
A perfectly clean and decorated house?
A new fancy car?
A 6 figure income? Or is 7 figures the new success marker?
Getting to your goal weight?
Having a neat and tidy family where the members never come home late, forget to call, fight over homework, leave the leftovers and dirty dishes out all night, or forget the one thing at the grocery store they went for in the first place?
Maybe when you can do the head stand in yoga class (unassisted of course), or run the half marathon, or just learn to love green juicing already- then, then, you will feel sure of yourself and have it together.
But of course, even if you could pull it all together you realize it’s too late anyway because shouldn’t you have checked all this off the list by the time you were 30?
But feeling decades behind can be motivating, right? Like you need to catch up.
Here is a not-so-secret secret:
You will never be all together.
Not all at the same time. And the bits that do come together, they will not last. Life will forever be in flux, it doesn’t have a timetable, and you will always being adjusting to that.
No matter how neat and organized the house, it will get dirty again. Laundry will pile up, the couch will get stained. Your hair will clog the drain and you will have to fish a big, slimy, black hairball out of the pipe with the bent end of a coat hanger. This last bit may or may not make you want to throw up. It happens.
You will overindulge at the holidays, gain back the 5 pounds you lost, yell at your kid/ friend/partner/neighbor because you haven’t slept in the last 5 nights and you just don’t have an unfrayed nerve left. Or because your cat died 6 months ago and you still miss her like crazy.
And when these things happen will you use them as proof that you don’t have it together and have that mean you posses an inhuman flaw that must be hidden until it can be eradicated.
Here is a bigger not-so-secret secret:
You are not alone.
We are all at least a little crazy, more than a bit imperfect, and ever so likely to fall painfully short of our own expectations on a regular basis.
You do not have exclusive access to the striving for perfection and failing miserably club. The membership is huge. I know this does not really make you feel any better about how not together your life is.
So you buy the fancy car. But it comes with a big car payment and insurance bill that stretches your budget just a bit beyond comfortable. It will ongoingly need gas and oil changes and new windshield wipers and at some point it will will get scratched or dented.
Making more money will help, yes? Surely the 6 figure (or is it 7 figures?) income will help you feel better. Except that it doesn’t because you worry about losing the job, the clients, the business, or you get so burned out trying to make it all happen that you have a knot in your stomach all the time because all you really want to do is sit and sip your tea by the window and maybe embroider a fancy handkerchief like your mother told you your grandmother use to do when she was growing up.
The weight of it all is overwhelming.
Which leads you right back to the demand, the plea, to just get your life together already!! You may find yourself embellishing this with one or more colorful swear words. It’s okay. You would not be the first.
And here is the tragedy:
All this wishing, trying, wanting to have it together and what you make it mean about you that you don’t, it drowns out your inner guide, leads you to grasp at the illusions of a meaningful life rather than allowing your Soul to lead you where you are most meant to go. It leaves you cut off from the part of you that holds your purpose, your vision, your sacred life journey.
It keeps you from your Priestess self.
Who is she, your Priestess self? Most simply put, she is the practical expression of your feminine divinity in the world. Kind of like your personal, cosmic superheroine. More about her coming soon. For now just know that the worry about “having life together” is the spiritual equivalent to getting stuck in quicksand and the rope that will pull you out is your connection to your Priestess.
Next time I will talk more about your Priestess, who she is and how she shows up in your life. Until then check out these other posts. I think you will find them interesting.
There are days when you feel, at best, a minor character in the story of your life. Circumstances beyond your control take over and push you to the sidelines where you watch and wait and pray for better times.
There are days when you are sure you are the villain. Doing, thinking, being, every single way that is wrong and hurtful.
You are scared. Cowardly. Mean. Deceptive.
Weak.
And yet,
You are never, can never, be anything but the Heroine Goddess of your life.
While there will be events and trickster alter egos that mess with your assumptions of how it is suppose the be, you are always the strongest force in your life.
Your adventure in this world can never be overtaken. This is essential truth.
Your heart creates your life rhythm. It sparks the fire that casts warmth into the corners of your doubts and light into your hidden darkness.
Time dances in your favor, bringing you partner upon partner from a world of ultimate possibilities.
Your desires and dreams ever conspire to see in what way you will take your rightful place on the throne of your own becoming. The glorious, only for you, place of honor in the temple that is your life.
Here is the obvious truth only hidden when you assume you have been banished from your temple:
What you long for will bring you Home. It will guide you precisely where you most want to be, bringing you intimately present in all that is.
Here you will find Bliss.
Heroine Goddess,
Crave your life.
Hunger.
Then let yourself dive ever deeper into fullness until you can no longer be contained and must burst forth into new form.
It is an illusion that you are sidelined, a lie that you are villainous in your life.
Remember your temple. Take your throne. Glory in the miracle of your radiance.
What is true that whether I like it our not she is.
Always has.
I am now willing to accept that she has the better way.
This body, her imperfect perfection, is my carrier though this physical world. She holds every beauty, every trauma.
She is my gateway to the unseen mysteries of the sacred. Through her I can sense into worlds beyond this one, love beyond measure, magic.
How can one not be anything less than amazed and devotional?
And yet I often am, to a punishing degree.
We are taught to fight against our physical self, trying to make her something she was never meant to be. An exact number number on the scale, a desired clothing size, a certain shape . We are in a battle of more here, less there, different.
My response to my body’s need for help has too often been annoyance, disappointment, anger, blame, shame.
I want it to be different. I want my response to my body to be loving, joyous, respectful.
I want to allow her to bring to me everything my life has to offer.
I want to receive her.
Always, not just when it is easy.
How do I take Holy Reverence to the deepest level of my physical Self?
How do I, do we, set down the programed way of being, reinforced everywhere, that our bodies are not enough? That they are flawed, must be fixed, changed and hidden? Or that they must be exploited, pushed, stretched beyond health to prove we are worthy?
I have some ideas, I have some ways I know work.
But really, all I need to do is listen. Listen to the whispers of my body. Learn the language of her symptoms and her pleasures. It is all Divine communication.
I am deepening into a kinder way, a more effective way of being with this amazing, perfectly imperfect, my-one-and-only body.
Hallelujah and Amen.
Can you relate? What are your thought? Please leave a comment, I would love to know.
