I am calling it Intuitive Love notes, because, well, who doesn’t love a love note.
And it’s February.
And the world is crazy and don’t we all need a bit of soul magic and connection to our deeper selves? I know I do.
Think of it as one part insight, one part message from your soul. The result? Poetic words guiding you home to yourself.
One of my most reliable tools for times when I am off center, or need a nudge in a better direction is Tarot.
Not because it will tell my future, but because it will point me to what needs my attention so I create the future I want.
The imagery and archetypes of the Tarot hold a potent mirror and offer wise guidance evoking our deepest knowing and insight.
An Intuitive Love Note is a potent, one card missive of love and support for your precious self given in my style of poetically expressed insight. Each reading will also include a prompt or two to take things deeper along with the traditional meaning of the card; all delivered in a beautiful PDF document to your email. If you heave experienced my Oracle Alchemy readings, this is similar in format, but more compact.
The deck I am using for this reading? The delicious Vintage Erotic Tarot. A sensuous, sepia colored, powerfully feminine take on the traditional Tarot just perfect for a love note! (Yes, there is nudity. I find it a refreshingly natural depiction of woman’s bodies in celebration of feminine energy and embodiment. And, it may not be your kind of subject matter, in which case this reading would not be your thing.) But If you are feeling separated from yourself or wanting some intuitive self love, this may be just for you.
Here is what I know. Unless we are in touch with the beauty we are, unless we know where to look for it when we feel ourselves waning, unless we take even just a wee bit of time to connect into what nourishes us, we wither. We doubt. We open the gates of despair and hopelessness.
A Love Note is a soft whisper guiding you home to yourself. Available until the end of February.
I want to write something big and important but what I am feeling is quieter and still forming.
I am coming of age.
Where I question less and trust more.
Where I am so much more interested in the perfection inherent in my imperfection than I am in getting rid of it.
Where life slows down because I get more present.
Where I am becoming the women I want to grow old as.
And I want more.
I want to feel life steeping me into deeper beauty.
I want my eyes to hold what they they see with greater love.
I want my hips to move freely, releasing the power of flow into the world.
I want my skin to feel the sensations of living as the exquisite braille of the Divine She.
I want my lips to gently kiss your life awake.
I want my hands to shake us up because there is magic between us that must ignite.
Magic that can only happen together, as we see ourselves and each other. Magic that will light the shadows and leave no room for anything other than radiant living.
This series has made me bolder. I needed that. So much more to come…
I have been on an extended quest to find the perfect red lipstick. A few days ago it was time to complete the quest. No more indecision. Time to choose my Red.* Because nothing is quite the same as red lips, and what they are I want more of.
Bold, sensual, willing to be noticed.
On a day where I am bone tired from lack of sleep, frustrated by computer glitches and unexpected demands on my time, the addition of red makes a difference. Especially on a day when only I will see it.
I sometimes forget the simple pleasures of feminine beauty rituals.
Finding the right shade of lipstick, luxuriating in lotions and potions, the perfect nail polish. When life gets busy, actually when my mind gets overly busy, I discount my simple pleasures as not being serious, important, relevant enough. I get all fussy about the politics of beauty, the patriarchy, age appropriateness, blah, blah, blah.
The thing is I love the art of beauty. I love makeup. It is sweet balm to flesh often drained by the harshness of life. It is adornment as sacred ritual.
The truth is I don’t much care if I use makeup as a divine expression the of the Feminine or as shield against the judgments of society. Both are equally valid motivations. What I care about is whether my lipstick, my hair color, my work, my relationships- how I am living my life- is bringing me closer to joy and my truest self or taking me away. Then I can choose what I want with clarity.
I know the surface confidence that comes with looking good, and I know it seeps down and allows the deeper layers of self to rise up and shine. I also know that those deeper layers shining adds radiance that no makeup counter miracle product could ever hope to match.
What is real is that the outer and inner of us are always growing the other.
So find your Red. Wear it proud. Have it feel good.
*My current red is Stila Natasha color balm lipstick, in case you are curious.
Here I am in the middle of my 30 day “being seen at 50” project. As I sip my tea and sort images of myself, I am also teasing out some old, old, old beliefs and patterns. And finding my inner revolutionary.
As the days go by I have been more and more riddled with sabotaging doubts about why I am doing this project. Is it relevant, what are people thinking, why did you say 30 days?
And then there is my personal Kriptonite, “Aren’t you being conceited?”
This last one slays me, leaving me open to all of the worst kinds of self doubt, self censure, and self judgment. It has the power to derail me in an instant, leaving me questioning myself and overriding both my intuition and concrete proof. (Intuition that says that the more we women see ourselves the more we deepen our power; proof this is having impact by the the amazing, supportive comments and acts of self portrait courage being shared.)
This one line “Aren’t you being conceited?” is a replay of a deeply wounding moment in 5th grade. My father accused me of thinking myself better than my classmates when I showed pride in my academic success.
I had unknowingly crossed a taboo of good, humble, appropriate girl behavior.
I was doing well, knew I was doing well, and the gravest transgression: I was proud of my intellect and achievements. I felt good and powerful!
I was taken down for it. I came to understand that I was not good and powerful, certainly not particularity smart, but the worst kind of girl. Proud, vain, self centered, thinking myself better than others.
Point taken. I took this new truth deep into my spirit and a burning tar of shame descended. I would no longer outshine, out perform, over reach what was proper good girl behavior. “Aren’t you being conceited?” became my inner check point, the gatekeeper that saved me from falling prey to the horrible female flaws of vanity and calling too much attention to oneself.
Except it didn’t save me at all. It kept me contained and second guessing myself. Twisting and pretzel-ling myself to walk the fine, often impossible line between being true to my desires, talents and gifts, and constraining myself as not to be seen by the world as thinking too much of myself.
Of course I would confront this particularly nasty self sabotage as I work my way though this series. A series of “selfies”, the name itself conjuring images of conceit for me.
Yet here is something I know, from my own experience and years of coaching women.
We long to be seen.
We need to be seen.
By the world, but most importantly by ourselves.
Not because we are vain or narcissistic. But because we matter. We are here. If we will not see ourselves we get lost in a world that reduces us to “fuckable” or irrelevant. Pretty and cute and therefore worthy of notice, or invisible. Able to do business like a man or too emotional to handle the stress. Self sacrificing or selfish.
Young and beautiful and therefore worthy, or old, worn out and pushed aside.
A selfie is a claiming of space. A declaration of “I am here, look at me, see me” in this moment. I am sexy hot. I am bone weary. I am having the time of my life. I am suffocating in my too small life. I am bored.I am showing up, see me.
This is courage. This is claiming one’s self.
This is my act of defiance to the internalized rule that says I should not be visible. It is an act of defiance in world that may judge me a narcissist, since to post pictures of myself for no other reason than because I want, even demand, to be seen, is not humble. It is proud. It is attention seeking.
So be it. I know the truth. Some may call it vanity or conceit.
I call it self revolution.
I crave looking into my eyes and your eyes and embracing our visibility, our courage to be seen as we are, in a moment of life.
What is your revolution, your defiance of some outdated, internalized rule of how you should be? Power waits for you there.
I would love to hear from you and, if you have been following, you know opening my comments is an issue right now. So if you want to share anything go here or e-mail me at sandi@lusciouslife.com.
I saw these two young ones a few weeks ago at The National Heirloom Exposition, a festival that celebrates local foods and sustainable agriculture. This Princess was hard to miss, dressed as she was in all her finery. It was a joy to catch her though out the day as she made her way amongst the farmers, craft people, gardeners, and artisans of the expo; always hand in hand with her fellow princess.
We all have an inner Princess. She is one of three umbrella archetypes I see in all women. She is the part of us that is innocent, curious, ready to explore, at home in her world because she knows no other way to be. While she is enjoying her world as it shows up for her, she is in training for the world she will step into as she grows into her other archetypes, the Empress and the Priestess.
The Princess captivates us with her unselfconscious enthusiasm and hopefulness. She teaches us the power of play, dreams, and trust. She believes her believing makes a difference, and in fact can change the world. Remember when nothing in the world was more exciting than to go on an adventure with your best friend? When you dressed for magic instead of meetings? When you skipped rather than walked and always felt better? When you knew that if you wished hard enough anything could happen? The world was really all about you and what made you happy.
Your Princess is a powerful ally you may be overlooking.
We are pushed to set aside our Princess if we want to be taken “seriously.” She is all too often relegated to the childish, selfish, and frivolous in a world that minimizes the wisdom and ways of the young feminine. But I will tell you this. I have never seen a truly powerful, embodied, creative, effective and powerful woman who has not integrated her magical Princess.
Of course there is a shadow side to the Princess, as with all energies. But that is not the topic today. Today, I wish for you to listen to the dreams and imaginations of your inner joyful Princess. Especially if you find yourself stuck or disheartened. Especially if you have set her aside in the urgency to deal with grown up life. Tune into her play and wanting. She will guide you to your heart’s desire in its purest form. Her take on things may seem too innocent, to simplistic, but don’t be fooled. Essential truth and guidance are always simple at heart.
Even though you are grown up, inside your Princess urges you to find delight in the world around you, to dress for your heart and imagination, and to walk though life knowing your dreams are yours to create. To Believe.
She sees what is possible and believes in it with all her heart, because why would it be any other way?
I love this picture of these two Princesses, holding each others hand. In their lives together, yet differently. One in her gold and crimson, the other in more humble robes; each radiating the powerful joy of youth, trust and the devotion that is only found in the young. Each knowing the world is more fun with the other.
The world, your world, is more fun, more joyful, more playfully wise, with your Princess.
Grab her hand, your life is waiting. Skip and meet it.
I have created a new reading. I hope you like it.
