how to see the enchantment of life

fall leaves of wonder

I have had a lump in my throat and tightness in my chest the past few days, feeling like there is a really big cry waiting to happen but is stuck. Trapped in layers of tiny distraction and rambling busyness, perhaps held in place by fear and anxiety of what the really big cry means.

And yet, bits of this cry are seeping out in tiny moments, little moments of small consequence. I am teary, feeling tender, and the critical, judging part of me wants to labeled it “overly sensitive.” This is my personal red flag to look deeper. When ever I criticize my feelings as “overly sensitive” I know something important is going on that needs care, attention and acceptance.

So I follow the tears back to their source, back into the tiny, little moments, seemingly inconsequential.

– Making pie crust and remembering my grandmother.

– Marathon watching of Dr. Who, again.

– Seeing light though fall leaves.

– The house across the street aglow in the dark with Christmas lights.

– Laughing with my neighbor.

– Knitting on the couch with a cup of tea.

When I look into these moments I see that the lump and tightness are not some big scary thing I don’t want to deal with that got locked in my chest and throat.

It is Wonder.

Tiny, shimmering moments of Wonder making their way up through the hardened strata of ordinary life, past overly long to do lists, ignoring deadlines and obligations. Wonder finding its way out through my tears like water finding its way up out of the earth and flowing where needed.

The tears are moments of softening into moments too large to fit into the box my mind gives them. The tenderness is the releasing of the shell I put around myself. The lump in my throat and tightness in my chest are me bracing against a moment I don’t yet understand.

Wonder expands me so I can take it in. The love, adventure, beauty, friendship, peace my mind wont let fit into the “little moments of small consequence.” Wonder reveals the magic always here yet rarely seen, even more rarely felt.

Wonder is the portal to the More we crave at the root of our being. It is how we can see the sacred, the transcendent, the enchantment of life.

It is the joyful path to the more of You.

Risk the big ugly cry, follow the unexpected tears, open to the tiny moments. Begin to feel into, soften into, the always present Wonder of your life.

This is why the Finding Your Wild Wonder e-course is happening.

Because choosing to create space for Wonder to bubble into your life will change you.

It will expand you.

It will leave you happy.

It will lead you to your heart’s desire.

It is waiting for you, a three week joy ride to your magic life. Beginning January 6.

Go here for more information and to sign up. (There are also a couple of time sensitive bonuses, because what would December be with our extras!)

Your life has more magic than you know. Wonder is how you find it.

 

 

your Wild One is not going away

wild wonder
wild wonder

There, out of the corner of your eye.

That faint shadow, vague feeling, fleeting thought that dissolves away before it is even formed.

Are you craving beauty so deeply that your very cells are crying in pain?

Does the night wake you out of sound sleep demanding your attention, only to leave you with a weary mind unable to think?

Your Wild One is stirring and she has no patience for logic or routine. She answers your call for more yet will not follow your rules of propriety.

You must listen or be torn apart in the struggle.

She dances her wisdom inside your dreams and longings. Time to let them out so they can breathe the air and cast their magic.

It will terrify you and have you make up all sorts of stories that are not true. About who you are and what you can do and what is most important.

But your Wild One is not going away and she is not scared of your stories.

Time to invite her in for tea. She will think it quaint and then tell you about your mysteries and unlock the Universe.

And you will be in too much wonder to remember to be afraid.

 

red lips and simple pleasures

red lips(This is the 9th post in my series “being seen at 50“)

I have been on an extended quest to find the perfect red lipstick. A few days ago it was time to complete the quest. No more indecision. Time to choose my Red.* Because nothing is quite the same as red lips, and what they are I want more of.

Bold, sensual, willing to be noticed.

On a day where I am bone tired from lack of sleep, frustrated by computer glitches and unexpected demands on my time, the addition of red makes a difference. Especially on a day when only I will see it.

I sometimes forget the simple pleasures of feminine beauty rituals.

Finding the right shade of lipstick, luxuriating in lotions and potions, the perfect nail polish. When life gets busy, actually when my mind gets overly busy, I discount my simple pleasures as not being serious, important, relevant enough. I get all fussy about the politics of beauty, the patriarchy, age appropriateness, blah, blah, blah.

The thing is I love the art of beauty. I love makeup. It is sweet balm to flesh often drained by the harshness of life. It is adornment as sacred ritual.

The truth is I don’t much care if I use makeup as a divine expression the of the Feminine or as shield against the judgments of society. Both are equally valid motivations. What I care about is whether my lipstick, my hair color, my work, my relationships- how I am living my life- is bringing me closer to joy and my truest self or taking me away. Then I can choose what I want with clarity.

I know the surface confidence that comes with looking good, and I know it seeps down and allows the deeper layers of self to rise up and shine. I also know that those deeper layers shining adds radiance that no makeup counter miracle product could ever hope to match.

What is real is that the outer and inner of us are always growing the other.

So find your Red. Wear it proud. Have it feel good.

*My current red is Stila Natasha color balm lipstick, in case you are curious.

reflection

reflection(This is the 8th post in my series “being seen at 50“)

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Reflections count.

They are sometimes clear and sharp, jarring you out of complacency.

Sometimes faint, almost mist.

Those moments when you are not looking but see anyway, the ones where truth catches you by surprise- revealing the backstage beauty of you that everyone else always sees.

And loves you for.

 

*******
If you know there is more of you to see, I do Guidance Sessions that reveal what the world is reflecting. There is nothing more powerful than you fully seeing You.
 
Want to read the rest of this series? It is all here.
 

I would love to hear from you. If you want to share anything  go here or e-mail me at sandi@lusciouslife.com.

 

meeting myself in the editor

meetingintheeditor-resize

(part 3 of my series “being seen at 50“)

There is a dance of emergence that happens as the artist engages in both the making and allowing of the art to come forth.

For me the dance right now is “being seen at 50” and the dance floor is my photo editor. I push and pull my image, playing with filters and color balance and all sorts of things I don’t really understand until something happens. I see something I wasn’t expecting, something that feels true.

In that moment I meet myself. Newly.

Today I see the bare face, the dark circles, some farrows and gray hair, my tired and worn energy. All that we are suppose to hide from the world. All I often do hide from the world.

But here right now, I feel compelled to highlight what often gets covered. I pull the blotchinesss out, darken the tones so I can sit with my somberness, my weariness.

And I see my resolve.

I see truth. This truth of me wanting to be seen. Life is beginning to show on this face and body of mine in a way that is creating character. I may no longer longer be able to mask lack of sleep with more caffeine, but I am also no longer prone to apologizing for my intensity.

Sometimes we want to see our prettiness, but what our Soul longs for is our rawness.

These portrait meetings of myself are rich and already initiating quiet upheaval of my inner relationship to me.

And I am making it public. And that is scary.

And liberating.

And raw.

Will you meet your rawness today?

It is there, just under the surface or beneath what you feel you want to cover.

Meet it and see the energy it holds.

editing dance complete
editing dance complete

(parts 1 and 2 of this series are here)

I would love to hear from you and I want to open comments on this, but it is proving to be a complicated thing. So if you want to share anything with me go here or e-mail me at sandi@lusciouslife.com.

not pretting it up

 in morning light

(part 2 of a month long series being seen at 50)

No surprise to anyone who puts themselves out in the world, and that would be all of us, being seen is vulnerable stuff.

I noticed my default thought this morning as I was taking pictures was to “pretty myself up” for the camera. Especially since the post yesterday is my most read ever!

People are watching- Oh My God, I have to look good!

Now there is not a thing in the world wrong with prettying up, showing the world your best face. In fact prettying ourselves can be so much fun and deep self expression! It is Aphrodite at play!

But it is the assumption that our “best face” is always the carefully created one, the powdered and shadowed and glossed one. That we need to “put on our face.” The one that hides the life being lived now.

This is the face of the life I am living now and right now I deem it my best face. It comforts because it is mine.

Sometimes our best face is the private and bare one, showing the truth brought by morning sun and lack of sleep.

Being seen at 50- it is casting magic already.

What is the truth your face is telling?

Thank you for coming on the ride. Let me know how you are seeing you.

(I would love to hear from you and I want to open comments on this, but it is proving to be a complicated thing. So if you want to share anything with me go here or e-mail me at sandi@lusciouslife.com.)

For other posts in this series click here.

 

sometimes the words don’t come, but nature helps

flowers

sometimes the words don’t come

the world is not pretty

your loved ones are struggling

you are feeling let down

 

and then, out of the corner of your eye,

the sun is hitting the window at just the right angle to cause your head to turn

and you catch the glory of light bouncing off of and between

 

Nature

Just

Outside

Your

Window

 

and in that moment you find yourself

renewed, reminded, ready

to take your next step, your next glorious step into life

 

it only looks humble and mundane

like writing out bills

or doing the dishes

or getting ready for a meeting

 

but really it is the thing connecting you to everything you dream

 

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