beautiful rightness and the quest for our elemental nature

I integrate slowly. Like honey that has been stored in a cold place, the flow is incremental. I want the resolution, the insight, the clarity right now because the tension in the waiting is uncomfortable. I am often impatient and judgmental with myself. And yet, I can’t, I won’t, jump into things with out my inner alignment anymore. Age and wisdom have done their parts to temper my restlessness and drive for action at the cost of readiness and timing.

I get caught in the bias for fast and quick. I love the feeling of the pieces falling into place, the grand download of the plan, the a-ha moment, the “Eureka! I’ve found it” exhilaration that propels me into inspired action and swift progress. In my frustration with slow I forget that these moments of flashing clarity never come without the ground work having been laid by stretches of time learning, exploring, practicing, and allowing.

Every drop of honey is the work of untold numbers of bees. The blossoms that attracts those bees only burst forth after a cold winter. Most of the time the work and time tending are unnoticed or unacknowledged. We, I at least, separate this necessary tending work and time from the triumphant outcome, therefore making that outcome more important than what created it. To have a robust harvest, good and nourishing cultivation must take place first.

Is my pace really any slower than others? More than some and less than others I have observed. Years of living and self exploration, coaching and reading for others, studying the way our individual energy works, what I know is that my way is my way. Just as yours is uniquely yours. There is a beautiful rightness to our way- for us.

It is this ‘beautiful rightness” that I truly crave rather than the faster pace I get hooked into. Not the way it looks for others, which can be so seductive. It always seems easier for those magical others I admire. This ease I project onto others is an illusion of my own flawed expectations. Their way is not mine, nor mine theirs.

It is this Beautiful Rightness I help others find for themselves.

I also call this our Elemental Nature. When we trust it, honor it, use it, lean into it as the the powerful gift it is, our life feels like it is truly ours and we are at home in it.

It is already inside you, I help you listen to it.

Human Design Readings illuminate how your individual energy is designed to flow and how best it in the highest and most effective way. Lumina Guidance is a deep, soul dive intuitive season bringing in Human Design (you do not need to have had a reading) Tarot and Oracle cards to explore what is unfolding in your life right now. Personal Coaching is sustained support as you discover and live more true to your own beautiful and uniquely right way. We each have a life path that is only our own.

In a world that all to often seems built on competition, comparison and the never ending demands to achieve a cookie cutter version of success, it is a radical and sovereign thing to embrace your own way. No matter what way that is.

oracle friday- february 24, 2017

~ Visions of Life Beyond Death~
from Sacred Rebels Oracle by Alana Fairchild

When you can not see what is ahead
and all around is desolate

When what you thought was solid is
falling apart

When endings and dismantled progress
leave you in fear and despair

Turn inward toward your visionary senses

There is a place ever alive
and seeking

new expression and form

It may whisper in your dreams
speak through the trees
find its way through pleasure and rest
be discovered in art and creative musing

What lies beyond death is
already forming
seeking those that welcome it

*******

While much is dying away and this can cause unrest and fear, seek out the newly forming vision. This will be something that could not live with out this present shedding. You must go into the dark unknown, feeling your way with your senses and intuition, for what you see before you right now is not the end, but the beginning.

If these times are wearing at you, consider an Intuitive Love Note. A bit of soul magic via the wisdom of the Tarot. Available until the 28th.

 

the world is in conversation with us- always

This afternoon.

I pulled a card.

A Turning in the Journey.

After weeks of rain and storms, I perused the plants in our tiny garden. A preliminary check to see what is happening as Spring approaches. A plant I thought died last summer is coming back to life.

A Bleeding Heart.

I moved my altar to the space under the window. The place it has wanted to be since we moved here a year and half ago. I resisted this spot because often I try and control the way energy flows in my personal spaces when I feel out of control in other ways.

I laid on my bed watching the clouds out of my bedroom window. Dark grey, stormy clouds against white fluffy ones, against the blue sky. The setting sun, warm through the glass takes the chill off of the room. I wonder what is changing in me and for me as I feel the shift in seasons staring. The first blossoms are on the trees, daffodils are in full glory, the days are getting longer.

A turn in the journey, Bleeding Hearts, sacred space evolution, the seasonal wheel turning.

The world is in conversation with me. Elegant and simple, always happening, always speaking its language of symbol and metaphor. My heart understands even as my mind tries to reason and dissect, extrapolate and predict, trashing about assigning meanings that are forced and overly complected. Ever scrambling to pin down the Mystery.

The most essential part of being in communion with the world is realizing you already are. Follow the stream of what grabs your attention. A deck of cards, something peeking out of the soil, an empty space begging to filled, a bone deep desire to lay down and watch some clouds.

It requires a type of listening. With your body, your senses, your imagination, your non-linear self. It is a quality I attribute to the “sensuality of living”. The ebb and flow of life through and around us, touching our being in concrete and interdementional ways.

When your soul settles you know you have the message, whether or not it comes in words that make any sense at all.

******

Oracles are one of my favorite ways to listen to the conversation the world wants to have with us. So, if you want a little message of self love, Intuitive Love Notes are still available- until February 28.

why i read cards

Not because they will tell my future, but because they will point me to what needs my attention so I create the future I want.

I believe that divinatory insight is a form of wisdom guidance. A nuanced dance between conscious knowing and mystery that takes the ordinary and opens it up to the mystical. Here meaning and revelation is created. Not as some outside authority dictating what is or is not true, but as an invitation to engage the larger energies and subtle senses of who we are to find greater truth and personal answers.

Every question posed to any oracle, whether large or small, is an invocation.

 

A prayer of higher perception initiating relationship between the mundane and the sacred. Here space is opened to explore and discover. Veils drop. Connections are made.

Are the cards always right? Can intuition be trusted? What if the information doesn’t make sense or I don’t understand it?

While accuracy, trust, and skill are important and I can go on about that, in my opinion there is a more important process happening when engaging with the cards- whether as the reader or seeker. It is the process of coming to know what we know is true, for us. And this, being in the open exploration of what and how we know what we know is true is foundational to our ability to trust ourselves, our choices, and our beliefs. The ability to be in flux with this as the sands of new or conflicting information shifts our awareness and perspectives, is to find the sold ground of us.

Like so many, I was separated from my intuition early on. My ability to trust myself, my own felt experience of the world and gut feelings, were undermined by a family and society that discounts such things. I found myself over and over again abdicating my inner knowing to the opinions or appeasement of others, despite feeling inside something was off. Over time I lost all confidence of what was true for me and instead replaced it with what was true for others. This didn’t end up so well, as you might imagine. I said yes when I wanted to say no, did what was expected rather than what I wanted, trusted untrustworthy people and information because others did, ended up in some dangerous and harmful situations.

Enter Tarot.

I was really in a bad and dark place. Because of bad choices stemming from not listening to the danger alarms going off inside I ended up hurt, in therapy, questioning everything I knew about myself and my past, not sure I would survive it all. At the suggestion of several friends I got my first reading from an amazing woman. Despite not believing in this kind of stuff at all and the teachings of conservative religion, I was in enough turmoil to try something so unusual for me. If I got something useful who cared how it came to me? The reading itself was powerful, validating, grounding, insightful, and most importantly awakened a fire to know more.

I dove into learning about the cards, spending every free moment playing, asking questions, doing readings for myself, even sleeping with my deck under my pillow. While I was obsessed with learning everything I could, something more important and essential was happening. My intuition was waking up, my trust in listening and understanding this most intimate and individual internal language was being honed. I always say that working with cards was and is my master class in intuition cultivation and confidence. It was the way I come back home to myself. It continues to be my tool of choice when I want clarity, direction, guidance, an nudge in the right direction.

Symbolic and archetypal imagery has a way of sidestepping internal noise and communicates directly to our psyche. The art is in interpreting it through our rational faculties so it aligns with our deep sense of Truth. Truth that aligns our knowing, perceiving, sensing, feeling selves. Even when the information is unexpected, or doesn’t make logical sense, or goes against long held ways of being and beliefs. This is true as a reader and as a seeker. It is this process, this engagement with finding that aligned Truth that is the gift of reading, and being read for.

Oracles hold Trickster energy. They sometimes give smooth and elegant messages, and we go “Ah, yes! This.” Sometimes they poke and provoke us to to claim the power of “No, that is not my truth. Those words, that interpretation is not true for me. But this is…” and we get the gift of voicing what what we know is true in a different way.

A reading is not the truth but a holder of space to discover Truth.

 

This process, is why I read cards. Not to be right. Not to get insider information on the workings of the Universe. Not to know the future. Well, my ego can get caught in these things, and that is when I need to check myself. But really, it is the unraveling of the moment reflected in the cards, looking for the messages, seeking the resonate truth that holds so much magic. When reading for others, it is to deliver the messages as I receive them and then allow the seeker to have their relationship with it. They will go through their own process of hearing the message, letting it do its alchemy on their deeper energies and become the message that is Truth for them.

Each time I shuffle I am asking the energies-that-be to come into communion, to open a conversation of higher purpose. It doesn’t matter whether the question is grand and life shifting or humble and of little long term consequence. Mundane and epic only have relevance to our linear mind. But Truth, and getting to feel the inner spark of it as it lands in the cells of the flesh, mine and yours, this is why I read cards.

*******

Until the end of February I am offering a small, sweet written Tarot reading I’m calling Intuitive Love Notes. The world is always pulling us away form ourselves. This reading will point the way back.

If more in depth, intuitive support interests you, Lumina Guidance may be for you.

intuitive love notes

I have created a new reading. I hope you like it.
I am calling it Intuitive Love notes, because, well, who doesn’t love a love note.

And it’s February.

And the world is crazy and don’t we all need a bit of soul magic and connection to our deeper selves? I know I do.

Think of it as one part insight, one part message from your soul.
The result?
Poetic words guiding you home to yourself.

One of my most reliable tools for times when I am off center, or need a nudge in a better direction is Tarot.

Not because it will tell my future, but because it will point me to what needs my attention so I create the future I want.

The imagery and archetypes of the Tarot hold a potent mirror and offer wise guidance evoking our deepest knowing and insight.

An Intuitive Love Note is a potent, one card missive of love and support for your precious self given in my style of poetically expressed insight. Each reading will also include a prompt or two to take things deeper along with the traditional meaning of the card; all delivered in a beautiful PDF document to your email. If you heave experienced my Oracle Alchemy readings, this is similar in format, but more compact.

The deck I am using for this reading? The delicious Vintage Erotic Tarot. A sensuous, sepia colored, powerfully feminine take on the traditional Tarot just perfect for a love note! (Yes, there is nudity. I find it a refreshingly natural depiction of woman’s bodies in celebration of feminine energy and embodiment. And, it may not be your kind of subject matter, in which case this reading would not be your thing.) But If you are feeling separated from yourself or wanting some intuitive self love, this may be just for you.

Here is what I know. Unless we are in touch with the beauty we are, unless we know where to look for it when we feel ourselves waning, unless we take even just a wee bit of time to connect into what nourishes us, we wither. We doubt. We open the gates of despair and hopelessness.

A Love Note is a soft whisper guiding you home to yourself. Available until the end of February.

All the details are here.

 

i seek beauty at times like this

singlefallleaf

I think about what I want to write here and all my grand ideas fizzle. The blank page fills with starts and dead ends. The truth is I have no grand ideas right now. I fluctuate between despair, rage, wishfulness, conviction, and tiny glimmers of hope.

And so I seek out Beauty. Consciously cultivate my relationship with this language of the Divine. I believe in the power of beauty to sooth, to heal, to inspire, to bring us home to ourselves. This is the practice that returns me to myself when the world has pulled me too far away.

I can trust Beauty. Not Vanity, that deception that masquerades as Beauty, a glamor that disguises emptiness and false promises. Beauty reveals, it doesn’t hide.

There is a soul to Beauty.  A living breath of holy incarnation. It shows itself in a baby’s smile, a withered rose, a mud soaked and haggard first responder, a lover’s disappointment, a poet’s words. I can point to Beauty forever and yet I will never be able to truly describe it.

Beauty is an experience. At once as mundane and ever present as I am willing to see, and as an intangible miracle offering a glimpse into the Mysteries. This is the path I walk as I am finding myself again. Weaving between the known and unknown, the ordinary and extraordinary, wiling to see Beauty hidden and obvious. When I let it, it cracks me open to Truth.

So I seek Beauty at times like this, when I am so easy overcome by the fears and hurts of the day, when urgency for something else clouds what is always here all along.

The essence of life that is running through everything.

i wait and gather pieces of the year wanting to be

image3

This is one of those days I dream of in the heat of summer. Rainy and blustery outside, I have no where to go and I have a warm cup of tea beside me. I’m wearing cozy socks and have a deliciously soft alpaca scarf around my neck, the scarf I knit from yarn purchased on our trip to Montana last summer. I remember buying the yarn back in the heat of July imagining myself wrapped up in it during the cold of winter.

The past foreseeing the future now present.

It is comforting thinking of how my past self dreamed me here. It has me curious about what I am dreaming now for myself this year. I feel like the tree outside my window. Stripped bare by its natural cycle and the winter storms, its stark beauty and mystery revealed as its branches reach towards the grey sky. Nothing hidden under a regalia of lush summer green.

I take stock of who I am now. The successes and failures, the wishes, desires, fears and circumstances as they led me here and as they are now. Then I open deep with in, feel into the subtle energies of creative flow slowed by the season and need for rest yet no less potent. I listen with intention and gentleness for the whispers of muses still finding their way to me. I seek guidance in deep conversations with wise kindreds, journal as a form of written scrying, card gaze and chart dive following threads of illumination spoken in imaginal languages.

I wait and gather pieces of the year wanting to be.