Author Archives: with Sandi Davis

introducing: tea time, behind the curtain

Posted on by

I am doing a weekly video series!

I am calling it Tea Time, Behind the Curtain!!

 

Yay! EEEK! Hurray! OMG I am really doing this!

Excessive use of exclamation points and BOLD is entirely intentional and totally warranted!!!

**View the episode now or read the behind the scenes story first. Those of you who get my Luscious Soulful Beauty email letter already know this, but here it is for the larger world. Believe me, no one is as surprised as me that this is happening! (Oh, and if you are not getting my LSB letter, put your info in the box at the bottom, I’d love to include you!)**

Last week I did something really scary. It made me lightheaded, nervous and full of self judgment. And you know what? I didn’t die. I didn’t even faint. Or throw up. You know what else? I surprised myself. I kind of had fun. Enough fun that I am going to continue.

What did I do? I took part in a 5 day video challenge with Kris Oster of Mythic Rhythm through her Facebook group Enchanted Entrepreneurs. (If you by chance have not heard of her, check out her work. Especially if you are a mystically inclined business person. Magic + Myth + Biz know how.= Powerful. shhh, its a secret group so let me or Kris know if you want in and we will teachyou the secret handshake, aka add you in.)

So, each day last week I created a video on the theme of bringing heaven to earth. Yummy topic, yes? Good enough, along with Kris’ inspiration and safety to tempt me. And prizes. Totally helped that there were prizes.

The thing is, I have spent my life actively avoiding being on camera. It has scared me, intimated me, just was never something I had any plans of doing, ever. Never. Not going to happen. Other people did video. Not. Me.

Except.

Sometimes our inner wise guidance has another plan. There was a tiny, but undeniably strong voice that said “Do it. Just do it. Do it. Do it.” Kind of like your girlfriends on the playground telling you to go ask the cute boy under the tree to be your lab partner because they know you really want to.

My brain said No. Some deeper part said yes. So I listened to the deeper voice that felt more true, if unfamiliar, rather than the familiar voice that sounded more safe and logical, but not quite true.

Color me shocked!

And that is how it is with our intuition and inner guidance. It is not ruled by our past and how we know ourselves in the present. It is tuned into our becoming, our growth, our life desire. It brings us to our edge so we can reach into what is forming beyond our knowing. And it often shocks us with what it brings.

So, 5 days of videos. They are not perfect. I have so much to learn. Of course I had a crap ton of judgement threatening to shut me down.
-Your hair is too frizzy.
-You need to clean your studio, or get a screen so people don’t see how messy you are.
-You look weird and puffy, not like your pretty professional pictures.
-Oh My God you say “like” and “um” too much.
-You sound just like your sister!

The truth is this:

– My hair is curly and it has a mind of its own.
– My studio is not Pinterest ready and is absolutely lived in. I definitely work in creative chaos.
– I don’t have professional lighting and make up, most nights I don’t sleep as well as I would like. I look the way I look. Also YouTube has a way of choosing the most unflattering screenshot for the video (have to learn how to work with that!) Again, I look the way I look.
– There is a learning curve and I am getting use to speaking in front of a camera.
– My sister and I come from the same gene pool and blood carries connection. She is also one of the most dynamic people I know.

I showed up anyway. I am so proud of myself for that. I am proud for leaping into the unknown and discovering a new way to express myself. I am celebrating doing the scary thing, while being scared and full of doubt the whole time. I am especially proud of not minimizing how big a triumph this for me. This is something I find so common. We snatch away our accomplishments, our triumphs, we weaken the impact of our courage because we compare ourselves with others. “This is not such a big thing, others do it all the time” we tell ourselves when this “common” “no big deal thing” is a very big, extraordinary thing for us.

Icky, Yucky, Cruel. Don’t buy into it.

Claim your bravery.

Even when it is wobbly and imperfect and perhaps the tinniest little thing to others. It is not to you and it will change you.

Here is why I share this story. That thing that scares you, the one you are absolutely sure you will never, ever do. That very thing may make its way to you as an opening to more of your creative, soulful becoming. Just because you have not known yourself to do or be something does not mean you never will.

Of course always say “no” to what does not feel right, but also be willing to follow the small, quiet, surprising “yes” that invites you forward. It doesn’t have to be big and grand, it just needs to be yours.

This story is also a way of introducing my new, small, Yes. A very big Yes actually. I am going to do a weekly video I am calling Tea Time, Behind the Curtain. A better name may come bit for now that is what I am calling it. I want to create a little space in the week to touch in, relax, breathe, and chat about what is going in my luscious life creation. Here is Episode 1. This feels tender and vulnerable and exciting.

All the ingredients of rich, new, knowing and creation!

What is your exciting new “Yes”? Is there a new, tiny, edgy whisper calling you? Say Yes!

So here it is Episode 1 of Tea Time, Behind the Scenes. Thanks for reading, thanks for watching!

the gritty side of abundance

Posted on by

window_feathers_#3_resize

I wanted to play an abundance game with myself.

Like how some people look for hearts, or notice a certain time or number, or collect feathers as a way to bring more awareness to something. Love, whispers from the Universe, signs of guidance or the like.

A couple of months ago I tied the few feathers I had with a piece of yarn creating a mini garland of four. It hangs on the window sill of my living room and I love the energy that bit of wild nature brings. I imagined how wonderful it would be for that garland to grow and reach across the entire sill- an altar to found abundance.

I could open my awareness of abundance and manifesting energy by looking for, receiving, feathers!

I’ll do it, I thought. I will start intentionally calling feathers to me! It was going to be fun, easy, magical.

Before I went out into the world that day I visualized finding beautiful feathers. I asked the unseens to place them in my path. I imaged my garland full and beautiful.

I felt good, hopeful, a bit the witchy conjurer.

15 minutes later I pulled into the parking garage downtown anticipating easy parking, a lovely visit to the farmer’s market and of course, feathers.

What I saw was a dead pigeon.

Yes there were feathers, but No, no, no, No, NO! This was NOT what I wanted.
I wanted feathers, not a dead bird! I wanted gracefully delivered, delicately floating feathers. Feathers cosmically and gently put before me as offerings from the loving and generous universe.
Not. A. Dead. Bird.

I tell you, I was a bit freaked out. I drove past the bird and around the first level of the garage and finding no parking had to circle around again to go up to the next level.

Past the dead bird.

Which I did not want to see.

So I looked the other way.

Nope, no dead bird here, la, la, la…

You can probably guess that I did not found any other feathers.

I was left unsettled.

It stayed with me, leaving me uncomfortable. Like there was more to this story than I was allowing. Like seeing that dead bird was important, not random. Like the greater mystery of life was at play.

That bird was a power symbol, it wasn’t letting me go, and I was not comfortable with that.

A few days later still feeling weird about the whole thing, I told my husband the story. He listened patiently and then in his shaman way (yes I am married to a shaman, it comes in handy) points out the difference between the result of abundance (feathers) and the source of abundance (the bird). You can get feathers in two ways: by the bird shedding them, or by the bird dying.

Can’t have the feathers with out the bird. Can’t have abundance with out Source.

Okay. Right. Light headed perspective shift time for me. I was looking, wanting, the result of abundance. The feathers. And when presented with the source of that abundance, the bird, I looked the other way. I actively avoided it. I rejected it. Because I didn’t like the way it presented itself. Because I was only interested in the result. When I turned away, I also rejected the gift in the death of this bird.

I saw Source and I rejected it.

I was unwilling to see the grittiness of abundance. The rawness of Source. The fact that sometimes, abundance comes out of death and endings. Sometimes you shed tears of pain before the tears of joy. Sometimes the miracle is well protected in the brambles of life.

Houses are built because trees are cut. Chicken soup is only possible it the chicken dies. The inheritance making life easier comes at the loss of a dear one.

Sometimes we are beat up and bruised by the ride of abundance. Ask any mom joyously holding her new born. Ask any farmer harvesting her fields. Ask any hunter who takes a life so others may eat. Source is the all of life. If I want to truly know abundance as more than a convenient parlor trick, I have to be willing to be with the all of Source. Cycles, rhythms, timing, birthing, living, dying, waxing, waning. Triumph and failure. Shine and grit.

I can’t avoid the sometimes harshness of abundance by wanting less, paring down my desires. But I can willingly open to the tenderness and vulnerability of deep gratitude and reverence for that which is sacrificed or lost.

This dead bird in a grimy parking garage has taught me see and honor the source of the abundance. Even when I don’t like how it is showing up. As I do it strips way all pretense that I am in this life alone. It illuminates the edginess and giddiness of belonging to a world where loss can be the portal of generosity of being.

But only if I let it.

The grittiness of abundance, we don’t often hear about that.

I saw that pigeon because I needed to. It was the response to my witchy conjuring, was the gift of a loving and generous universe. That pigeon was a message from greater Source to not get taken in by the parlor games of abundance, the glamor we over manifestation. It affirmed for me that I am here to know Source, full on, even the bits that leave me shaken and a bit roughed up. Even when I want to turn away.

I want more light, more ease, more beauty and will continue to look for and create that.

I also want to honor and receive the gift of grit when it comes.

 

through domesticated windows

Posted on by

wildness_through_domestic_windows

**********

Today the birds sing away my headache

They call to each other with such insistent joy and syncopation
my body can not help but respond

Their rhythm soothes me, lulls me, entices me

I release my
thoughts
plans
strategies
expectations
worry
urgency

The wild enters my domesticated life through open windows

Reminding me my body holds sway over the workings of my mind

My body is nature

She needs her song

The birds know this, they remind me I know this also

**********

sacred vessels and my mom’s move

Posted on by
sacred vessels of soul nurishment
sacred vessels of body nourishment

“It’s like the love is gone.” My mom said.

She is getting ready to move into what will most likely be a much smaller space. It is an intense period of change and readjustment as she waits to see where her next home will be. Going though 14 years of accumulation and memories, choosing which to keep and which to let go, it is no small thing. Especially for such a sentimental and sensitive woman.

A friend helping her noticed a small rocking chair with a teddy bear and remarked that her sister had one just like it. Generously, my mother gave it to her friend. After all, my mother logically thought, there would not be room for such things in her new place, her friend would cherish the gift, and the whole point of packing early is to Get Rid Of Stuff.

Except.

My sister gave that little rocking chair to my mother years ago and every time she looked at it, sitting there behind glass on the top shelf of her entertainment unit, she thought of Donna. Her heart and presence would fill with her love for my sister. When this humble little tchotchke left with her friend, it felt as if all the love in the space left with it.

I heard the tears in my mother’s voice. The sadness of letting the memento go, the regret on acting too quickly, and the guilt of giving away a precious object. There was confusion about why this small thing was having such a big emotional punch. After all in the last few days she has purged bags and bags and bags of clothes, more pictures than she could count and has boxes set aside filled with far more “valuable” things for us kids if we want them. None of that bothers her. Why this little thing?

“It is like the love is gone.” She kept saying.

Of course the love in my mother’s home is held in her heart, not her things. It is in her generosity and ready smile. Her stories and “everyone is welcome” spirit. Of course her home still overflows with love even as it is changing form. She knows this and yet, “It feels like all the love is gone.”

Because, for my mother, that little rocking chair held, holds, everyday sacred power.

Sometimes in our consumer vs. minimalist world I think we can underestimate the emotional and spiritual anchors and containers our things can be. Certain things. Those things we invest our essence into.

Those things we elevate beyond well cared for material objects into sacred vessels.

Vessels that hold our love, intention, dreams, memories, connections… Touchstones of our deeper selves.

Not every knickknack, every gift, every picture, every piece of jewelry. But some, maybe a handful. Quality and price are not important. It is the love and attention, the using and engaging with the object that animates its soul.

It is why my friend’s grandmother’s wedding ring gives her confidence and strength.

It is why I write better with a certain beach stone near by.

Why I don’t replace my first set of cheap wooden spoons; bent, burnt and split with use and time.

Why my brother wants my mom’s old frying pan, long missing its handle, because of the sound it makes.

It is not “logical” and it is not always practical, but it is real.

My mother’s pain was not in letting the rocking chair go, but in doing it with out honoring what this humble physical thing held for her.  “I just gave it away,” she said over and over. Unspoken, but felt through her tears and heavy voice, “as if it meant nothing.” She let her logic override her heart instead of inviting both into the process.

How often have I done the same? In the spirit of getting on with it, of clearing things out, get the job done, not getting wrapped up in emotion. I have overridden my heart in order to be more efficient and practical. Code for not feeling and being in the messiness of change and hard choice.

Have you?

Pain is caused when a sacred possession is gotten rid of with out proper reverence.

It is a denial of self, of the personal meaning we infuse into our life. I am not saying a three day holy ceremony is needed in order to part with a cherished object (unless it is), or that you should never part with something of deep emotional importance. But the awareness and honoring of the energy and spirit it holds is important. It allows you to make the right choices about when and how and if to part with something.

It allows your sacred vessels to do their job. Keeping you in touch with the deeper and more of You.

My mom is fine. In her wise way she allowed herself to feel the regret and guilt of her action, get the lesson and is now sorting though her things with more inner connection and guidance.

I know her new home will have all the space needed for her sacred vessels meant to still be with her. Everything else will find its new right home.  Whether that is with her or somewhere else.

What about you?

What are your sacred vessels? Those objects that bring you present to your deeper realms?

Honor them, use them, cherish them, allow them to work their soulful magic on you. I will do the same.

 

on slipping into a creative cocoon

Posted on by
#4 in my Facebook series- index card wisdom. A cut and paste oracle project
#4 in my Facebook series- index card wisdom. A cut and paste oracle project

It is lazy-daisy, pause-and-slow-down season in my world.

Tomorrow is my birthday, the Solstice has just past, we are in the longest days of the year, and in the U.S. the July 4th holiday is right around the corner.

Each year I take this time off. Maybe doing something big and special, most times just resting and unplugging.

This year when I asked myself what I most wanted what came up was time for “creative cocooning”.

Unstructured, free form, dedicated time to creatively play. Just because, just for me.

Time to pull out my sewing machine and make this and this, reconnecting to the sewer I was years ago. Finally signing up and diving into this, stretching into new art forms. Do more collage oracle creating and see what messages come, because I love how the unseens speak though images. Take photo walks and tap into the everyday magic in my neighborhood. All the things I have been wanting to do but haven’t made the time to do. Things I want more of.

So I will take the next week and a half to cocoon myself with art supplies, fabric, needles and thread, and what ever else strikes my fancy. I may come out with some really cool somethings, or not. I may work on just one thing or start many and leave them all unfinished.

But guaranteed I will come out more intimately and practically connected to my creative flow.

This is the deeper purpose of the creative cocoon.

Dedicated time and focus on creative expression and exploration. To break out of ruts. To see newly who you are as creative being. To honor the whispers of your muse and see where they lead. To reconnect to a creative you that got put aside when life got busy. To feel into what feels good now.

To see how the organic rhythm of your expression beats when untethered to expectation, external schedules and day to day demands.

For you maybe it is trying recipes you have pined or planting the side garden. Digging back into your novel or starting a blog. Wandering a museum or dancing on the beach. Learning to paint, quilt, rug hook, exotic dance, what ever is your fancy.

A creative cocoon will look different for each of us, but if you allow yourself to go all the way in you will emerge a new being in someway.

What do you think? Want to slip into your own creative cocoon?

It does not need to be a week long although I wont lie, knowing I have days to wander my creative trails feels heavenly! That may be unrealistic or perhaps too daunting right now. A few hours will do. This much more about the intention and permission to discover and lounge in your creative being than it is about time.

A good creative cocoon has these qualities:
* A dedicated time to explore what calls you.
* Intention to discover and play. No critical judgment allowed!
* No rules about what, how, or why you do what you do. Just that you want to.
* Full permission to the voice of “Because I want to, that’s why!”
* Mess. Make a mess. Gluey fingers, paint smears. Spread out. If needed, claim the dinning room table for awhile and have the family eat somewhere else. Remember this a cocoon time, not a permeant lifestyle.
* Get rid of anything that minimizes external distractions. Feel free to pick up take-out. Better yet, have someone else do it. Leave the dishes in the sink rather than put off your creative cocooning. Bowing out of meetings, dates, appointments that take you out of creative time. Again this is temporary while in cocoon time. Not a lifestyle choice. (Although you never know, you may learn you can do with out some of the assumed have-to’s of life.)
* Indulgent, creative musing and play.

When it is time emerge from the cocoon, celebrate your process and journey and take the learnings into your everyday life.

Because every creative act changes you.

 

life sometimes calls for silence, and the subtle senses

Posted on by

begonia3

Sometimes I want to reach out,
yet no words come.

Trying to talk though the void so the world doesn’t forget my voice,
more painful than being forgotten.

So I stay quiet.

Still working, loving, caring, dreaming,
but in the background of the noisy world.

Less outreach, more inner reach.

Sometimes I need to be quiet,
to sink into the comfort of silence,
for awhile,
until my world upends itself again.

I allow the bumpy flow of life to pull me along as it sees fit,
until I find I have found my feet again,
my voice finds her true resonance again,
the words can be found,
again.

Here there is no void to reach across,
instead a rich space craving new life to be grown.

And just like that I know my world has upended itself.

As it always does,
when I trust my rhythm,
my life,
and the quiet,
to do what they will always naturally do.

Allow me to find what is true,
now,
what is essential to say,
now,
where the treasures are,
now.

To remember newly,
how the creative flow is never dry.

It just sometimes calls for silence,
and the subtler senses to lead the way.

 

 

honey, are you easy for magic to find?

Posted on by

magic_door

Oh Honey, Honey,

You think it is about you. You think this stuck, wandering place is about you and all that is wrong with you. It lets you hide out. Sleep late. Not get all the good stuff done.

You are trying to trap magic like fireflies in a jar and it just doesn’t work that way.

Magic is intention, allowing, revealing, focus. It is inspiration, wonder, surprise, and wanting. Oh so much wanting. The fancy word for this is desire. Also known as hunger, craving, longing, and yearning. Magic is not released by waving a wand or chanting over a crystal. It is evoked though clarity of heart and wanting, wanting, wanting. Unabashed wanting mixed with decided action.

Magic is not interested in being impressed.

No mindless doing, no distracted busyness, no filling each second with the striving energy of trying to earn your deserving.

Magic floats on the breeze, it goes where it is welcomed, to the places easy to enter.

Don’t ask it to maneuver around showy displays of desperation and entitlement or to compete with showy performance and drama. Are you easy for magic to find? Have you cleared the path to your door so magic can dance right in like a long anticipated guest?

Honey, what do you really, really, really want?

Why? What will having this give you? Love this yearning and let it become part of you. Let it lead you to be brave in action in just the right way that opens the door so magic can do its wondrous creation. I love you,

Your Inner Wise Woman who knows you make it though this.

(Are you are finding blocks to magic in your life right now, The Guidance Sessions will help. Take a look.)